“羞怯的玫瑰在无人欣赏之际卑微地绽放，在孤芳自赏中萧瑟颤抖；怯懦的人们在众目睽睽之下无奈地退让，在沮丧懊恼中舔舐伤口”。所以，不要怂，这个世界向来都是撑死胆大的，饿死胆小的。
脸皮簿的人从根源上来讲就是缺乏自信，而要获得自信，内在需要足够强的激情和自醒，而外在需要不断的肯定和鼓励。在我看来，有一种簿脸皮的人心里藏着有一团火，不鸣则已、一鸣惊人。我们很难从缺乏自信的沼泽地里一跃而起， 但是当我们想要挣脱泥潭的企图心和驱动力足够的时候，在加上足够给力、足见真心的外部支援，一定能够突破这种困境。我们中国人讲究“天时、地利、人和”说的也就是这个道理。
Humbly and trumbly, bushful rose bloomed without witness, shaking.
Depressed and annoyed, shrinking violet stepped aside from the crowed, healing.
What a bleak solo！
Owen’s journal of turning over a new leaf in my childhood
I was born in a rural village in Xiantao city located in the east of Hubei Province. I still remember at the time of my childhood, people call the richest family in town “10-grand family” or, in Chinese “Wanyuanhu”. My family was on our uppers when I was a kid, and the most educated person in our family was my father, who had been a junior school student, my mother was illiterate and could neither write nor read. I’m the eldest son in my family, I have a sister who was two years younger than me and a brother, four, both had just finished elementary school.
It wasn’t until I was in the fourth grade of elementary school that my family had nothing but bare walls, our house was leaking from every corner when it came on rainy days, and my father had to recover the roof with a tarred felt from time to time. Rats turning up daily, food was always in a shortage, everything was a mess.
Their comes a time the entire family had to eat chaff-made cake as a substitute for staple food and pickled sunchokes and radish leaves as the main course, luckily for us, at least we had something to cram into our stomach. I could still recall vividly that I would be served with significant happiness if there was a steamed egg before I went to school in the morning and a toasted potato after my self-taught class at night.
chaff-made cake：糠就是稻谷的壳，稻谷破碎以后，里面的就是大米，外面的壳就是糠。这个在南方农村还是比较常见的，早些年这个是用来喂猪的。因为粮食紧缺的原因，农民就把糠留了下来，混合着红薯，我们这边是红薯。不知道其他地方，做成了糠粑粑，然后这个就成了主食。为什么混合糠的原因，除了粮食农作物产量不高以外。最主要的原因之一，就是糠不容易消化。一句话就是顶饱，不容易饿。那个时代的菜基本上是没有油水的，那么吃了糠粑粑以后，肚子里就容易产生饱腹感。这个有一个坏处，就是非常的难以消化。特别是上厕所的时候，整个人感觉都难受级了。比便秘更加痛苦，自己去体会。当时我爷爷奶奶他们每年都需要吃不少糠粑粑，来缓解粮食不足。有一句成语叫做吃糠咽菜，可是他们往往连菜都没有。
Owing to impoverishment, confidence for me was nowhere to be found, I was too introverted to raise my hand when teachers were asking questions, too timid to tell the teacher when I had to answer a nature’s call, and too weak to perform a recitation or a dictation as soon as I came to the teacher’s desk…As a result, my grades were getting worse and worse, teachers criticized me, students ignored me, villagers mocked me, and I was trapped in a vicious circle and felt inferior to others. Eventually, that sense of inferiority led to my autistic behavior, from which I would rather walk alone in a narrow lane between the croplands than go with the flow of the majority.
The age of innocence
It was in my fourth grade of elementary school that circumstances took a sharp turn, my father realized that I was drifting further and further away from being a merit student and began to divert his attention to my study. One night while all the family members were having dinner, he drank half bottle of liquor and told me: “Up until I was able to accomplish my dream, I was too busy to intervene in your study, now that everything is on the right track, it is time for me to step in. listen up, Owen, you’re the eldest, you’ve got to set an example among your siblings, I know you’re in a bad place right now, but don’t worry, I’m gonna figure out ways to pull you out of the swamp!
He then took a sip of liquor, it appeared to me that my father was half drunk and half sober, his face turned as red as fire and so did his eyes, he continued:
“I said I’m gonna get our family all out of the slum, I said we would be able to hold our head high and set our foot in the major camps of the village, and I think I did it. I understand that I didn’t attach adequate importance to your study while striving for my goals. But from this day forward, please keep in mind that I’ve got your back!”
Although My father had done something extremely terrifying (I’ll get back to that in future posts), I could never refuse to acknowledge that he is indeed a man of quality, apart from getting our family moved into a fancy building, my father set out to keep a close eye on my study, he invited my teachers to extravagant restaurants in town and sent them presents, the bottom line is he managed to convince both Chinese and Math teacher paid me extra attention and care. Aside from that, he went to school and picked up the one student who mocked me the most, frightened that boy a great deal until his teeth chattered, afterwards, he made sure all the bad boys would never have the guts to tease me again. Furthermore, he spent a considerable amount of his leisure time playing Brain Exercise Games with me and intentionally lost the game to help me regain confidence.
Under the instruction of my father, I had to repeat my fourth grade. I didn’t remember what exactly my father had done, but the following days were like magic, one thing for sure is that my seat in the class kept moving towards the middle front, which is the core of a teacher’s sight, consequently, I got a lot more chance to interact with the teachers, such as to be singled out to answer questions, perform dictations, deliver demonstrations…little by little, I became a regular fixture of the principal’s honor roll, a dazzling star among the class.
With female students leering at me and teachers becoming more dependent on my performance, I had fully developed my potential, as a result, my performance in both Chinese and Math is second to none in our class, subsequently, I had been selected as the deputy class leader of the second semester in grade four, class leader in grade five, furthermore, I was admitted in junior high school in town as the second-place winner.
我曾经脸皮簿到上课期间不敢举手、想上厕所不敢打报告、一上讲台就腿软，学习成绩越来越差，内心越来越自卑，老师同学忽视你，村落邻居嘲笑你，于是走进了一个恶性循环的怪 圈。最后，形成了一种很自闭的性格：明明直走是阳关道，我却偏行独木桥。
那时候我记得是上小学四年级，这种状态其后发生了重大的转变。很可惜这种转变很大程度 上不是发自内心，而是源于外部环境和家庭状况的改变。起决定性作用的就是：我父亲发觉 到了问题的严重性！
在我参加工作之后，有那么几回，我曾问过自己：为什么是在我上小学四年级的时候发现的呢？我父亲早干嘛去了？现在仔细回想起来之后，我的内心一片释然。
记得从我出生到上四年级，家里一直很穷，可以说是家徒四壁，经常屋漏，恨不得三天上房、 四天接瓦，动不动有老鼠出没。困难的时候，就是顿顿吃阳姜、菱角、糠粑粑，好在基本上 不至于说揭不开锅。早上有碗蒸鸡蛋、晚上灶里焖个红薯，就感觉很幸福。
正因为穷，我父亲没少受过别人的冷嘲热讽，我至今仍清楚地记得很多次酒过三巡之后，他 都会在半醉半醒之间发表豪言壮语，一定要把一家五口人像蝼蚁一样蜗居的小平房，换成水 泥钢筋砌成的大楼房。在此之前，他一直在为实现自己的誓言而奋斗，疏于对我们三姊妹的 教育和管理。
正好在我上四年级的那年，他做到了，我们家住上了大楼房，之后，父亲开始重视起我的学 业，想尽各种方法请客送礼，总之做到了让语言数学两个重点科目的老师对我足够重视，此 外还到学校替我收拾了旁边持强凌弱的混混学渣，花了不少的时间陪我玩“斗二十四”扑克 游戏，为我重塑自信。
四年级留级半年之后，座位越调越靠前、老师点名越来越频繁、由于字写得好，经常上台替 老师写粉笔字抄板书。上讲台练作文，从摆脱战战兢兢到越来越有底气，随着同学投来的敬佩到仰视的目光，学习成绩直线上升，反而让老师对我产生了依耐。依稀记得：乡里每次组 织教师互相串课的时候，我是必被点名的三好学生。
之后的学业一路开挂，在班级里势不可挡，成为百里挑一的尖子生，有资格被派到市里参加 作文竞赛、奥数竞赛，四年级中期当上学习委员，四年级末期当上副班长，成绩全班第一， 五年级当上正班长，并以全镇第二的成绩考上了初中。仅仅一年的时间，完成了从学渣到学霸的快速逆转，进入了良性循环的轨道。
本篇文章放开原因：近期有注意到有一些基础相对薄弱的群友，遇到问题不知道问谁，这里跟大家申明下：任何学习过程中遇到的问题，都可以发到群里。很多问题并不是只有我才能解决，大家放开点，没有什么不好意思的，孔子都说了“敏而好学，不耻下问”，更何况咱们群里高手如云，一定会有热心的朋友帮大家解答的。
评论(1)
深为感动！童年的经历直到长大成人后才会明白，真的会一下整个人生！?